Recollections of a Varied Career

                                                                         CHAPTER VI -  MARRIAGE

      I sailed on the Guide the 9th, and on the 11th reached Hampton Roads.  There we took the boat for
    Baltimore, where we heard that the Confederates were crossing the Potomac, after their victories of
    the Second Bull Run and Chantilly.  I kept on east as fast as trains would carry me, and reaching
    Boston Friday, the 12th, learned that my father and mother, together with Miss Joy (to whom I had
    become engaged by correspondence) and her father and mother, were in New York, hoping to meet
    me on the arrival of the Guide.  Telegrams were sent and they reached home late Saturday night,
    when the hardships and perils of war were temporarily forgotten in the pleasure of reunion.

      Here I should perhaps explain that Miss Joy was the daughter by adoption of the Hon. David Joy, of
    Nantucket, Mass., and an old schoolmate at the Hopedale Home School.  Her own father was a
    descendant of a brother of General Warren, who fell at Bunker Hill, and her mother was a daughter of
    Captain Alexander Bunker, who was said to have brought more oil into Nantucket than any other
    skipper and had a record of 229 sperm whales killed with his own hand.  Her father and mother both
    died when she was very young, and she was adopted, as before said, by Mr. and Mrs. Joy, who were
    wealthy for that day and spent their time largely in travel in Europe and elsewhere.  Mr. Joy was a
    retired ship owner, and had been a member of Governor Everett's Council.  Both he and Mrs. Joy were
    prominent in reform movements previous to the war, and their sympathy with such ideas caused
    them to send their daughter to school in Hopedale.  After her graduation there they traveled in Europe
    for two years, during which time we kept up a desultory correspondence, and they returned to America
    shortly before my enlistment.  The correspondence continued after that event and resulted in an
    engagement; and this was our first meeting under the new conditions.

      The next day, Sunday, was spent as might be imagined under the circumstances.  After a family
    council we came to the conclusion that it would be better for us to be married before my return to the
    army, since Lilla would then be privileged to visit and care for me in case I should be ill or wounded.  
    This settled, it was decided that we should be married the next evening, the 15th of September, as I
    felt obliged to leave for the seat of war Tuesday.  Monday I visited Governor Andrew at Boston, to
    transact certain military business and to obtain, if possible, definite knowledge of the location of my
    regiment.  Concerning the latter I could learn nothing certainly, but I received an order to join it with the
    least possible delay.  I was unable to return home till the last train and did not reach the house till
    seven P.M., the hour of the wedding being eight.  At the appointed hour, or a little later, the ceremony
    was performed by my good friend, Rev. Adin Ballou, of whom I have before written, our immediate
    families and Mrs. Ballou being the only wedding guests.  My wife, like many other brides, wore a
    dress from Paris, -- not ordered for the occasion, but purchased by her there a year before, while
    traveling.  I was arrayed in a new uniform, with huge captain's straps upon the shoulders, a pair of
    new cavalry boots and white cotton gloves completing the inventory.  We were not married upon as
    long notice or in as much style as might be considered desirable to-day, but I don't think we lived the
    less happily for want of either.  My age at the date of my marriage was twenty years and five months,
    and my wife was nearly seventeen months younger, -- and from my experience I can recommend
    early marriages.

      It may be well to state my pecuniary circumstances at this time, when that kind of calculation is often
    made.  I had continued my economical living, and sent home my savings, so that I had about $900 in
    my father's hands.  My wife was promised $1,000 by her father when we should start housekeeping, if
    we ever did, and my salary as captain was at the rate of $1,500 per annum.  These figures of principal
    did not seem to us in the least small, and the income appeared to be, and in fact was, far beyond our
    needs, under the existing circumstances.  We had more important matters to consider than those
    which are vital to most young couples.

      The day after my marriage was spent in preparations for departure, and in the afternoon train I left for
    the seat of war, my wife and father accompanying me.  We proceeded to New York, via Norwich;
    arrived at Jersey City early in the morning; and waited in the depot for the departure of the train.  The
    dreaded time came at last, and, giving a parting kiss to my newly made wife and a grasp of the hand
    to my father, I was borne out of the depot and away toward the South.  From the beginning of Chapter
    VI, pp. 77 - 79, in General Draper's autobiography, Recollections of a Varied Career.

    Here's a bit about the family who adopted Lilla. Thanks to Kat Moore, a descendant of William and
    Lilla Draper and their daughter, Edith, for sending it.

    Hon. David Joy. October 18, 1801 - April 5, 1875. Son of Moses Joy and Deborah Macy Joy. First
    husband of Charlotte Austin. A prominent whaling merchant and owner of a candle -making factory.
    He co-founded the Nantucket Athenaeum in 1833. He and fellow member Charles G. Coffin of the
    United Library Association offered to buy land and build a 'substantial building' for the Association to
    use. He was elected as Nantucket's Representative to the General Court in 1834 and 1837; Member
    of the Governor's Council in 1838; He was an abolitionist. In 1870 he and his wife moved to Ventnor,
    Isle of Wright where he died five years later.You may view his photographic portrait in the Nantucket
    Historical Association collection.


    CHARLOTTE AUSTIN JOY, of Nantucket Island, should be mentioned amid reformers; for she was
    one of the early anti-slavery, temperance, and dress-reform advocates, and her zeal has never
    abated. For many years she wore the reform costume, and was numbered among the vegetarians
    and hydropathists. Several late years have been spent on the Isle of Wight (ministering to an invalid
    husband, Hon. David Joy of Nantucket, who was in sympathy with all reforms), where she presided
    over temperance gatherings, and with her pen and in other ways aided more active reformers. At her
    husband's death she returned to America, visited California, and is now at home in Hopedale, near
    Milford, Mass., among many noble and earnest reformers who once formed there a semi-religious
    community ready for every good word and work.

    Source:  page 351, Women of the Century, by Phoebe A. Hanaford, 1876.

    Here's more about Lilla's ancestry, sent by Kat.

    Lydia (Lilla) Bunker Warren (1843-1884) was the daughter of David T. Warren (b. 1816, MI; lived in
    Nashua, NH; d. 1850, CA) and Lydia Downs Bunker of Nantucket. Her mother died in 1848 at age 28,
    when Lilla was only six years-old. Lilla was adopted by David and Charlotte Joy of Nantucket. Her
    father then went to California, possibly for the "Gold Rush," in 1849 and died there a year later.

    Lydia’s grandfather, Alexander Downs Bunker, was a whaling captain from Nantucket. The whaling
    industry gradually died out with the discovery of electricity. Whale oil faded out as a lantern fuel.
    Alexander Bunker retired from whaling to become the first lighthouse keeper at Sankaty Head Light

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